Thought on 11/15/09

Today it all seems real.. Life is serious, alive, moving and solid. I'm pregnant! and today was our first visit to the Dr. I was able to see my little "bean's" heartbeat and see the little sucker all snuggled up inside me. It was kinda insane! All day Dave and I have been saying "uh.. so we're officially pregnant!.. Did you realize that" I'm not sure what I expected this to feel like, but it's different then I expected. I think I was imagining a panic attack mixed in with the excitement, however I only have JOY~ Just super duper amounts of joy. I recently told someone it was like "growing joy inside you". So I guess my first post about being present and living is really being put to the test now! Nothing like full on motherhood to make things really come into perspective! So... What do I expect about motherhood? Uhhhh.. Hummm... I think I am expecting a feeling of purpose and direction; a meaning for the madness and mess in life and an excitement about teaching and guiding a little person through this journey of life. I also expect to be stretched to the max.. in every way possible!